“Troy, i think my waters just broke!”
“What, are you sure?”
After seeing the state of my undies, he was sure!
After calling the hospital who said not to hurry in, i got some work organised that i had been doing and put a few final things in my bag. I has spent the last 2 days furiously cleaning (and crying when my husband wouldn’t help me – i must have seemed like a nut job!) and packing my hospital bag, i remember thinking to myself “i am having my baby this weekend” even though it was not due for weeks, strange!
I was feeling excited, but scared. Was the bub to early – would there be problems? I thought back to all the times during my pregnancy i wished it would come early, thinking i can’t possibly get any BIGGER! I had already put on 20 kilos and received looks of surprise and horror when i told people i still had 4 weeks to go. Had i wished my baby out to early? Did i walk and clean to much the precious days? Had i done something to cause this? Is everything going to be okay? As well as “Thank god i left week the previous work, at least i got 1 weeks off, instead of the month i was suppose to have!”
Troy and i travelled to the hospital at 5am, i got nervous when he decided to take a whole new, untried route to the hospital but he drove calmly and slowly (unusual for my husband).
We arrived at the Maternity ward and was taken to the birthing suite, it had a lounge area with a couch and TV, a multi-adjustable bed in another area with a TV and large shower. I was put on a monitor watching foetal movement and the baby’s heart rate. I weight for my Obstetrician who luckily was on call that day, she arrived at 8am and suggested that i get induced, she said most people’s whose waters brake before contractions don’t go into natural labour.
So at 9.50am i was put in the Oxytocin. Contractions started slowly over the next two hours, from a “period pain” like cramp that developed into excruciating painful contractions. I used gas, which totally whacked me out at the start. Troy laughed at me because i was talking funny. I remember having to turn the radio of because the sounds were vibrating in my head.
At around 1pm i was checked and i had only become 4cm dilated and was at the end of my pain threshold. The “epidural” word came up, i was hoping to avoid this, and try pethidine but we were worried about how the pethidine would after a premature baby, would it make it hard for it to breath? I was told it is normally 1cm an hour so i still had 5-6 hours to go, i said “give me the epidural!” The relief was quick and for the first time in 3 hours i relaxed and smiled. The contraction pain was gone but i still felt pressure and discomfort during each contraction which over time got worse and worse. I could still lift my legs up! I had expected to be completely numb from the waist down.
The pressure got worse and worse and the need to push came.
Sitting my hands behind my thighs and my legs in the air i pushed and pushed and pushed.
I felt like my pelvis was being ripped apart, i screamed in pain after each push. I was fully dilated and it was time for bubs to come.
But he didn’t.
My obstetrician came in and pushed and pushed again and still nothing. After 1hour of pushing i was tired and exhausted and in excruciating pain constantly.
“I can’t do it again”
“Just breathe and relax” – “you can do it Hon”
But Bubs was just not coming out – forceps were tried, which felt like i was being ripped apart
Still no luck.
Next suction, and after what felt like 10 contractions and what felt like someone trying to pull my spine out through my vagina we had success.
“Do you want to touch it’s head?’
I reached down and feel a slimy, boney ball. That was my baby!
After another push his upper body was pulled out. I could see it’s little body, all white and slimy, it’s curled up arms and screwed up face under the bright lights. It’s legs were still inside me, and i used every last bit of energy i had (which had actually run out about 2 hours ago) and with a final contraction and push it was out. At last a feeling of relief from pain and a little bundle of arms and legs were placed on my chest.
Poor bub and his big forcep mark on his face
”Have you looked what it is?”
I glimpsed down, the umbilical cord was tangled up in its legs but i didn’t see any ‘bits’.
“I think it’s a girl”
The cord moved out of the way.
“Are you sure?”
“It’s a boy! Hi Max!”
A boy my husband and i had created, that i carried around in my belly for 36 weeks and 3 days, that had kicked me in the middle of the night & performed side stretches that made me jump, had turned my boobs into saggy moosh bags and my belly into a taut uncomfortable ball.
He was out of my belly and lying on my chest, with as little screwed up face covered in gunk.
Born at 6.25pm on the 5th of July
37cm Head Circumference
His breathing was short grunts, he was taken by the nurses and checked over and it was decided that he needed to be taken to the Special Care Nursery and check over and put in a humidicrib to get his breathing right. Troy went along and i was left on the bed, alone, with my placenta sitting in a tray close by. I didn’t feel alone, scared or annoyed that everyone had left me, i just felt relief and shock.
I rang my best friends, Brett and Bron and don’t really remember what i said just that i was so happy.
Troy came back with all good news, i just had to weigh for the epidural to wear off so i could go and see him at the nursery.
After a shower i was wheeled to see Max. He was in a humidi-crib with tubes and sensors everywhere. He was o cute and sweet with his bruised and battered head from the delivery. His chubby cheeks, little cried that remind me of lamb and his constant hiccups. His little eyes slowly opening to gaze into mine for the first time.
His sore head from the suction
Over the next few days as he woke up more i started feeding him and replacing his tube feeds, by the Thursday i was getting 5/5 marks for his feeds and they took the tubes out, he was on the road to coming home on Saturday but he stared getting yellow – VERY yellow so he had to go under some UV lamps for 24 hours, with little covers over his eyes to help get the jaundice under control.
Everytime i had to leave him in the nursery and go back to my room i cried. It was amazing how much love i had already for my little man, it ached inside to be away from him. I was told when i was pregnant that having a child is like having a piece of your soul outside your body – in your child. This description scared me, like i would be losing a part of myself, but all i feel is full of love and this overwhelming urge to protect my son. I joke with Troy that i am a tiger and he is my cub !
I am daunted by my new job as mother, worried i am going to make mistakes, that i won’t know what to do, but i know i am going to do the best i possibly can and i couldn’t love anybody as much as i love Max and Troy right now.
I am the luckiest woman in the world.
He looks drunk after i feed him :-)
This was 6 weeks ago! How the time has flown, my little man is growing ferociously, he is getting so heavy. I feel like i have spent the last 6 weeks sleeping, breastfeeding and trying to get to slept. Everything is going well just spending my time looking after Max. He is a good baby, doesn't cry heaps, sleeps lots. I can't wait for when he smiles, (he only smiles in his sleep at the moment) i love dressing him up and taking photos of him.
The thankyou card photo i got printed out
These are my two favourite outfits.
Anyways - just thought i would share my joy with you all, i am sure in the near future i will have spare time again to craft but at the moment i am crafting a baby!